Houston H. Haynes » Commentary

Stress versus Trust

Houston Haynes — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:34:38 +0000

Given the choice, I’ll take a stressful situation with people I trust, over a cushy setup with those I do not – every time.

Obtuaries

Houston Haynes — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:47:32 +0000

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

—Clarence Darrow (1857–1938)

I’ll add a little admonishment that the pleasure one takes in the obituaries of others should be kept a private matter – in the hopes that others will afford the same courtesy at your own passing.

On conspiracies and the people that love them

Houston Haynes — Sat, 09 May 2009 01:25:08 +0000

At the core of every conspiracy theorist’s premise is a tacit, fundamental misjudgment of their own importance to the world. Lost somewhere between the ghosts of Cassandra and Narcissus, they weave connections amongst deliriously tenuous contrivances, from which conclusions emerge as haphazard Socratic leaps that a young Mikhail Baryshnikov would pause to admire. And of course this is attended by the requisite mocking indignity of presumed powerlessness. It is, in the end, a means to feign engagement while artfully avoiding the real work of dealing with however few of the world’s challenges that might happen to fall within their meager grasp.

Two wrongest answers to any question from a woman

Houston Haynes — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:57:26 +0000

There was a time when I thought there was only one truly wrong answer to a question from a woman:

“I don’t care.”

It doesn’t matter if the woman is a love interest, a family member or co-worker – never use that phrase. Ever. The question could be “Would you like a paperclip or staple for your copies?” to “Missionary or Doggie Style tonight, honey?” – and in many cases may represent a completely false choice. It simply doesn’t matter. There’s probably more than one right answer to any question – and probably several categories of wrongness in others – but none compare to the red-hot anguish you will likely embrace in response to the abject intellectual poverty of that three-word phrase [especially if it's true].

But I’ve recently found that there’s also an equally wrong phrase that will that will likely land you in the seventh level of Venusian Hell:

“Are you serious?”

You might think that this is an appropriate means to gather more information, but in fact you likely just flunked an emotional spelling bee by slamming the door on her side of the conversation. There is no calculus known to humankind that can measure the depths of loathing that these two answers inspire in the fairer gender.

Instant PERSONAL INTERACTION FAIL. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Save yourself a lifetime of grief by taking two seconds to think of anything else other than those two answers for your response. Your odds of finding the appropriate balance of rightness/wrongness will improve dramatically, as will your potential interaction with those of matching X chromosomes.

Graveyards

Houston Haynes — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 23:38:31 +0000

The world’s graveyards echo with the memories of faltered heroics and unrequited genius. Bear that in mind when the smaller part of self beckons you to shrink from a worthy challenge.

We’re all runners

Houston Haynes — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:20:19 +0000

Parting thought for the day – I believe that most people spend their life largely in one of two modes; 1) chasing what they wish the world to be, or 2) running away from what their imagination tells them to fear. I’m honestly not sure which is worse.

I really need to travel more

Houston Haynes — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 11:54:44 +0000

I just spent a long weekend at a trade show, hanging around one of the most widely traveled people I’ve ever met. He also happens to be one of the most affable people I’ve ever known – absolutely the most unapologetic optimist the world has ever seen. There have been times when I thought that I might not “make it” in Hollywood simply because I have no talent for indulging dull people. My new friend seemed to handle the task with aplomb, and it seemed to not weigh on him one bit. There were times when I simply sat there in astonishment at his ability to entertain the meanderings of those of obviously meaner temperament – it made me wonder if there were others in the room that observed the same when he and I were in a verbal exchange. So the potential irony was not lost on me, perhaps a saving moment from my own tendencies toward hubris.

But the thing that really stuck with me was his opinion of people in general – his belief that essentially everyone in the world has goodness in them (and he’s been to some really bad places) if they could only be allowed to get to it – to bring it out. I find it surprising that he could have been to all of those places around the globe and still be so unabashedly people-friendly. I can’t walk down the street to the local coffee shop without thinking to myself that the world would be a better place without half of the jerks that crossed my path. Perhaps I’m too much inside my own head and invested with my own ideas of what the world “should be” instead of accepting the environment for what it is and dealing with it as presented. It’s something I’ll be chewing on for a while.

A new kind of Apple Pie

Houston Haynes — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:01:03 +0000

I sometimes get into [ahem] conversations about the relative merits of paying the premium for Apple hardware, versus staying with PC. It’s a lot less of an issue now than it was five years ago, as Mac-o-philes have grown more tolerant of the PC format now that their hardware is essentially a PC with a bit of Steve Jobs’ “New Apple Smell” on it. I saw the graphic below – and it just made me laugh. Partly because it’s a bit absurd – and partly because there’s an aspect of truth to it.

The wedge described as “Cost of downtime for designers, engineers, and software writers who sit at their desks in awe of what they just created” and “‘Just because we can’ charge (Fanboy Fee)” are my favorites. Now that I look at it – I’m surprised that there’s not a large wedge of this pie graph dedicated to those silly Mac vs. PC ads.

Diversify your Idea Portfolio

Houston Haynes — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:01:14 +0000

If one is invested in entertaining only agreeable ideas – then it is a life wasted, and the sole contribution to the world is in extending its impoverishment. That’s not to say that one should agree with every idea that passes through. There is an equal level of bankruptcy in the lack of intellectual and moral ballast. But to refuse to allow new ideas an opportunity for exploration – even if the sum total is to arrive at precisely the same conclusion as had been originally hypothesized – is to deny the opportunity for personal growth and the potential betterment of society. At a minimum, it often provides the tools that one needs to communicate with those that hold dearly to the opposing view, an admirable goal in and of itself. One must constantly seek to challenge assumptions, tear down insular notions, and make an honest appraisal of long-held beliefs. By faithfully testing ideas of self against the world, both are likely to improve.

Balancing Goals and Happiness

Houston Haynes — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:00:23 +0000

It is an act of self-betrayal to confuse the pursuit of goals with the pursuit of happiness. In the day-to-day they can become blurred and one might mistakenly believe them to be synonymous. And certainly their coincident arrival can be enough to fool the most sober of us into seeing them as conjoined twins. But lose sight of their distinction and both become maddeningly elusive. One can also be lead down the false path of choosing between them. If they seem to be in opposition to one another, then it invariably was an earlier false choice that led to the current juxtaposition. It takes courage to go back and find that fateful point and grapple with those oft-competing desires. And while it risks arriving at some disquieting truth, once resolved it fosters an unmistakable sense of inner peace.