There was a time when I thought there was only one truly wrong answer to a question from a woman:
“I don’t care.”
It doesn’t matter if the woman is a love interest, a family member or co-worker – never use that phrase. Ever. The question could be “Would you like a paperclip or staple for your copies?” to “Missionary or Doggie Style tonight, honey?” – and in many cases may represent a completely false choice. It simply doesn’t matter. There’s probably more than one right answer to any question – and probably several categories of wrongness in others – but none compare to the red-hot anguish you will likely embrace in response to the abject intellectual poverty of that three-word phrase [especially if it's true].
But I’ve recently found that there’s also an equally wrong phrase that will that will likely land you in the seventh level of Venusian Hell:
“Are you serious?”
You might think that this is an appropriate means to gather more information, but in fact you likely just flunked an emotional spelling bee by slamming the door on her side of the conversation. There is no calculus known to humankind that can measure the depths of loathing that these two answers inspire in the fairer gender.
Instant PERSONAL INTERACTION FAIL. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Save yourself a lifetime of grief by taking two seconds to think of anything else other than those two answers for your response. Your odds of finding the appropriate balance of rightness/wrongness will improve dramatically, as will your potential interaction with those of matching X chromosomes.
Two wrongest answers to any question from a woman
There was a time when I thought there was only one truly wrong answer to a question from a woman:
“I don’t care.”
It doesn’t matter if the woman is a love interest, a family member or co-worker – never use that phrase. Ever. The question could be “Would you like a paperclip or staple for your copies?” to “Missionary or Doggie Style tonight, honey?” – and in many cases may represent a completely false choice. It simply doesn’t matter. There’s probably more than one right answer to any question – and probably several categories of wrongness in others – but none compare to the red-hot anguish you will likely embrace in response to the abject intellectual poverty of that three-word phrase [especially if it's true].
But I’ve recently found that there’s also an equally wrong phrase that will that will likely land you in the seventh level of Venusian Hell:
“Are you serious?”
You might think that this is an appropriate means to gather more information, but in fact you likely just flunked an emotional spelling bee by slamming the door on her side of the conversation. There is no calculus known to humankind that can measure the depths of loathing that these two answers inspire in the fairer gender.
Instant PERSONAL INTERACTION FAIL. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Save yourself a lifetime of grief by taking two seconds to think of anything else other than those two answers for your response. Your odds of finding the appropriate balance of rightness/wrongness will improve dramatically, as will your potential interaction with those of matching X chromosomes.